On the eve of tragedy, we tighten ourselves for a great fall...

On the eve of tragedy
We tighten ourselves for a great fall
Expecting, at least, to be broken
At most, to leave loosened misgivings foreboding the remainder of our time here
We weep drastically, grasping the remaining tendrils of a loved one
We scream for an end to finality
We plead, with both hands forward, answers to our mortality
We meet our own ends here, in the places where our loved ones lie
We destroy ourselves in the efforts to recover our sanity
We fight against the wind •

At the ripe age of 30, I have already lost a number of loved ones. I hear from my elders that these incidents increase somewhat exponentially the older we age. The first real death of my life changed everything; it was the most excruciating pain I have ever felt. And each subsequent death seemed to hurt a little less than the proceeding ones, based on my experience and that of others. Whether this is due to the differences in closeness, I do not know. And yet, there are some deaths we never want to experience — some which would rock, and maybe end, our entire world.

There are so many religions and millions of varied beliefs on this planet, and yet no one seems to have an accurate answer to the question of why we die. Why, we remember nothing from before birth and have received no response from those in the commonly affirmed afterlife. It is a question that puzzles and, matter-of-factly, frightens everyone. For, what if there is nothing before and after life, but darkness -- this is an outcome most do not want to mention.

Personally, I believe that I will see my loved ones once more; indeed, it is the only belief that saves my sanity — as this grasping, cavernous pain must have an ending. Even as the memory of my loved ones' faces and voices smear as time moves forward, there must, in fact, be something left to hold onto. There must be a resolution somewhere there in the end. At least, as so many loved ones depart, hope remains. •

Poem from Ether & Toil, preparing for publication - Ether & Toil is not yet available, but click the button below for the first two books
© Aisha Tariqa Abdul Haqq Publishing
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